Does this make sense? It’s okay if it doesn’t.

If you’ve paid any attention to this part of the Internet for the past few months, you’ll see I have no business being here. Obviously I don’t know how to keep up a blog, but I’m okay with that. I’ll continue to write as things to come me, whether it’s consistent or static for a while.

I have plenty of excuses to have not written over the past few months, excuses that I won’t bore you with here, but I’ll say that life got busy. Now that I’ve graduated from college and have (currently) nothing but time on my hands, some might say this is the perfect time to write again.

I’ll be honest: this terrifies me. What am I supposed to be writing about? What groundbreaking ideas do I have to share? Will I sound like I know what I’m talking about? Will anyone even care? On top of all these questions, these are the real reasons I haven’t been writing:

I haven’t had anything to say. As much as I enjoy writing, there hasn’t been anything that moved me enough to have to write about it. Yes, some momentous occasions took place over the past few months, but I didn’t feel the need to share them here. Which leads me to my next reason…

I’m still figuring out what this blog is about. I know what things I don’t want to share – like every life achievement or moment of my day. Because really, who needs to know that I binge-watched stand-up on Netflix yesterday? To me, important posts consist of lessons learned or sharing a story that I think people want to hear. That being said, I don’t see myself posing any deep philosophical questions all the time or promoting this blog as a spring of wisdom. This is a learn-as-you-go kind of deal – a revelation I came to recently.

Writing is a way for me to clear the thoughts buzzing around in my head. Sometimes my brain gets too full of crazy ideas that have a bunch of strings attached to them that get tangled, and writing them out helps me untangle the mess. Once it gets straightened out, I usually see a lesson through the nonsense, something worth posting.

Donald Miller says in his book Scary Close that a written work is supposed to do two things: “(1) communicate an idea and (2) make the writer sound intelligent.”

I’ve been wrestling with that statement for a few weeks, and finally realized that I hadn’t been writing because of the second part of what he said. I was afraid of sounding like I didn’t know what I was talking about.

The reason I want to write is not to convince anyone that I know what I’m doing. Because I really have no idea. I write for me. It’s a time to reflect and organize the millions of thoughts in my head. Believe me, this post has gone through numerous edits before being put online, and it’s alright that it’s still not perfect.

Writing has many purposes. For me, it is to clear my head and understand myself better. And that’s something I want to share with people. While not everything I write will resonate with everybody that may read it, the few that it might make sense to can appreciate it. And that’s all that matters to me.

So, here’s to future posts that will come from all the untangled places in my head, and here’s to forgetting what people think about them.

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